Failure is inevitable. You learned this fact of life at a very young age and developed a response to failure that followed you into adulthood. Most of us learn to adjust our behavior in order to not experience failure, and you do that by avoiding all risks and playing it too safe in life. For the majority of people, you attempt something, you fail once and you never try it again. You end up with nothing but a painful memory. (NOTE: There is more info in the video than the article).
But a painful memory of a past experience is largely about perception. Perception is your sensory experience of the world around you. You detect a stimulus in the environment and then make a decision to take action or not, based on that information and how you cognitively process it which is determined by your evolution, survival instincts and past experiences in your life. This becomes your subjective reality.
But it’s one thing to be aware of a stimulus in your environment, and quite another to actually become fully consciously aware of what you have just perceived. In other words, when you view or experience something that you perceive as unpleasant, in order to move forward toward success and complete a goal, you must begin to distinguish between your subjective reality and what objectively is occurring and just perceive the stimulus as it is factually, with no emotional connection.
Now, this is easier said than done, but with practice you can first attain awareness of your instincts and perceived experiences, calm your emotions, and stop reacting to the outside stimulus that sends you in the opposite direction of success in your life. As you practice this and develop and grow, you’ll learn to push back on your knee-jerk, fear-based response to failure or rejection and move forward to success.
Most of us set the bar low in our lives so we never experience the feelings of failure. You make excuses for your willingness to quit with adages like, “I’m only human,” and ”I guess it wasn’t meant to be,” or you disguise your choice to quit after experiencing failure as rather having balance and a risk-free life. We’re at our most creative state when we’re trying to justify our own mediocrity and lack of success this way; instead of creatively finding a solution to a problem and then continuing moving forward toward success.
How often do you not try something just so you don’t fail? Probably more often than you realize because you have been programmed this way through the evolutionary process of instinct and childhood experiences. As evolved as you may think you are, the magnet-like pull to avoid failure is extremely strong and every day, you give in to it without it asking for your permission, because through the evolutionary process it has become instinctual, or through repetition it has become habit.
If you imagine a typical day in your head, it won’t take you long to come to realize something you do or don’t do to primarily avoid failure and feeling rejected or humiliated. Take a moment to imagine the best outcome that could happen in that scenario and then adjust your actions based on your possible success instead of the fear of failure. And know this: Failure leads to failure until it doesn’t. Success ONLY comes after failure.
If you want success in your life, you have to be willing to fail. All great successes came from those who were willing to try and fail and keep going. You have to anticipate and commit to failing, because when you do, you have the potential to bring more success into your life than you ever imagined.
Mediocrity requires no change at all, but success demands it. The path to growth is a direct route to your own failure and your own success. So, be courageous, confident and bold and make a conscious decision today to not be afraid of failure, and successfully fail your way to the top!
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