How To Be Successful – The Primary Reason Why You Can’t Warm Up To A Cold Market


It’s completely natural to feel self-conscious and nervous in front of other people at times. Anyone can have butterflies before a job interview, when asking someone out on a date or giving a presentation. However, only about 15% of entrepreneurs manage to get through these nerve-racking moments when marketing. So, 85% of you are just not making it when it comes to building your business through talking to people you don’t know, or even people you do know, which for the most part is essential to building a huge business. So, what’s going on here?

Cold MarketIt’s Called Social Anxiety – This is when you feel uncomfortable participating in certain social situations, like talking within a group or to a group, or when meeting new people and striking up a conversation. What you’re experiencing are strong feelings of shyness and self-consciousness that have built into a number of powerful fears that are interfering with or preventing the actions you need to take in order to complete your business goals to be successful. So, instead of looking forward to certain marketing activities, you dread them and tend to make up reasons why not to participate and then avoid them altogether.

What’s Your Primary Fear Associated with Social Anxiety? – Your primary fear is a heightened concern about your social performance and how you’ll look in other people’s eyes. You’re laser-focused on fears that you’ll make a mistake, look foolish and laughed at and thus, be embarrassed in front of the people you want to impress the most… your prospects. With social anxiety, being judged by others is your primary focus instead of focusing on why you got into your business in the first place – to change and impact people’s lives for the better. Remember?! When you focus on this, you can positively visualize and project the outcome of your marketing activity, before your activity, as total success instead of total humiliation.

Where Does Social Anxiety Come From? – It partly comes from unresolved childhood issues and your genes and cautious nature that you inherited from your relatives. Inherited genetic traits can influence how your brain senses and regulates anxiety, shyness and stress reactions. If your adult role models reinforced the message that, “The world is safe to explore,” and that it’s okay to try, make a mistake and try again without feelings of guilt or shame, your social anxiety will be at a low level. But if your childhood role models were authoritarian, over-protective or hypercritical, and offered you more challenges than support, your social anxiety may be at a high level and may be hindering or prohibiting the action you need to take in order to be a successful entrepreneur.

What is Social Anxiety? – Social anxiety is a fear reaction to something that isn’t actually dangerous, but your mind and body react as if the danger is real; like a faster heartbeat, rapid breathing and sweaty palms. These physical sensations are part of your body’s primitive fight, flight or freeze response. When your mind goes through emotions of feeling afraid or nervous, the hypothalamus in your brain initiates a release of adrenaline and other stress hormones into your bloodstream that prepares your body for running, fighting or freezing, which, in preparation for or during marketing activities, is a total inconvenience as it causes you to trip over your words, stutter or forget what you were going to say and it comes across to your prospect as lack of confidence.

But in reality, people with social anxiety don’t even get this far and tend to interpret these sensations and emotions in a way that leads them to avoid one-on-one marketing activities altogether with your subconscious mind taking over and saying, “Uh-oh, that’s my heart’s pounding again, this must be dangerous, so I’d better not do it, I’m outa here!”

The good news is the effect of these negative emotions can be turned around with some focused, slow-but-steady effort. You see, fear is largely learned, so it can also be unlearned too, by developing understanding of its source like we just did, then developing coping skills and communication skills, and then getting up the courage it takes to go a little bit beyond what feels comfortable to you, little by little, which I’ll be revealing in my next upcoming video, 4 Easy Survival Skills To Warm Up To A Cold Market. So, don’t forget to subscribe to my blog for important updates.

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